Humanly Possible

Ruth, this is beautiful.  It takes me a whole 30 some years to come to the same conclusion.  At the age of 16, I had a conversion experience.  I thought I wanted to serve him in ministry, so I went with CEF.  I met truly fabulous people that yer, and ended at PHS for my final year of high school.  I applied to PBI and was accepted, but my practical and Jewish like parents told me to go on to college.  So I did, spent two years at the UCalgary, and then misfortune occurred as I worked for my family in a sweat shop condition for 1 year at Toronto, and then finished my degree at UToronto before I studied dentistry.  I applied to seminary two more times, never was allow to go.  What it was, was my parents are interested in the mundane matter like a good job and secure income, and a good life.  Having Christ in your life is like an insurance, in case you have to use it, God will help you.  The last time I had god in my life was during my formative year and getting married.  Then I realize that god is their stomach, and whatever that they will get out of it.  I through the help of Soren Kierkegaard, escaped this.  My wife is normal and very joyful, and we have a beautiful family together.

What is god and where is God in all of this?  I propose that the immaterial and even a sense of goodness in all of us, is God.  In Germay, Got is good, and we pray to the goodness that is suppose to be above us and around us and sustains us.  We are afraid to say that there is no such a concretized object as God, and there is nothing like that out there.  He is not there nor to be found.  But we are even more afraid to put our fate into the community we are in.  We do not trust the human goodness.  I have seen evil but I have seen human goodness in helping each other out.  I then firmly place myself in the community here, and learn to see goodness and draw goodness out of people, and no longer fear that we step out of the will of God.  We are, and as far as I know, we are.  As for an evangelical god that is not there, those who trust it are delusional, and they rely on human goodness to get things done, human courts to get justice and human jails to put bad ones away, but they are afraid not to attribute all these beautiful human qualities to god, lest he is angry with them.  That fear is now gone in my system, and I would like to point out that "Christianese" is delusional and gets one no where.  So I no longer attend church or pray in a meaningful way.  I talk to people, spend time in the garden, and learn when I am uncomfortable, to trust my heart and stay on the straight path.  That is being human and learn to laugh at the face of the absurdities of life and to have courage to do what I am to do.  This is why I left the WE KIDS group.  They have trusted in a delusion and they will not lift a finger about them, so nothing gets done.  They keep up praying and stay up and get upset at every turn, there is no courage.  I prefer to pop the molesters, picket and make sure that justice is heard.  They prefer to sit and pray and do nothing.  This is a waste of time, it is absurd.  How can one keep up this praying and hoping that god shows up when he is not there, so that is why they were horribly abused?  But it has come, that we have to have courage to do the right thing, leave god behind, trust in the human goodness and the sense of justice, and when in doubt, definitely take matters into our own hands.  When we are in truth, and if there is God, we are it.  Or we are in it.  or closest to it.  Amen.

My Testimony

My Name is the Lord Ben Chung, and I am an ex-Prairie, ex-evangelical. I have never been happier in my life. I went through a period of time when I could have died for god, and given up every possible earthly comfort, and I would devote my life to the spread of this ‘gospel.’ I studied the bible and held it on the pedestal. I trust it completely with my life. It is the complete trustworthy manual god has written for human beings.

Then the day would come when I discover the hate, the bloody god in the bible. I saw things no one told me about for the first time. When I used to read them with blinders on, it was OK that Jewish slaughter of the Canaanites by the command of god, it was OK to dash their babies on the rocks, to cut their throat for god, stone them and to make sure everyone obeys god. There are many things about the bible I am ashamed that I actually supported, slavery, hate, genocides, repression of races, and most of all, I see contradictions in every page.

I see the denial in Prairians, and their colleagues. I see their desperate attempt to save their religion and their sanity and try to live in the world that no longer believe in this backward and out dated cosmology. Why their god failed to come and save them. Here is the challenge, perhaps Mark Maxwell, Bruce Miller, or Dew, or these sexual abused victims. If your god is so true and this is the only way you can come clean and be saved, why is he all absent? I cannot give an honest intellectual answer. This is why I no longer believe in your god, and if you still do, cry louder, lash your back and make efforts to connect with your god, who is not there. My challenge is to come out of this web of deception, and live as a true human, for this is the only higher calling you have, and leave god behind in the dust. If he is so real, let him come find you, apologize for all the atrocities you have to endured, and stop brainwashing others that he is there. He is not. I said it, he is not there, and it is silent. Live your own life free from fear and repression, take the first journey to be away from a god of hate, and be happy. Most of all, be a human being and proud of it~!