Monday, July 2, 2012
Ruth, this is beautiful. It takes me a whole 30 some years to come to the same conclusion. At the age of 16, I had a conversion experience. I thought I wanted to serve him in ministry, so I went with CEF. I met truly fabulous people that yer, and ended at PHS for my final year of high school. I applied to PBI and was accepted, but my practical and Jewish like parents told me to go on to college. So I did, spent two years at the UCalgary, and then misfortune occurred as I worked for my family in a sweat shop condition for 1 year at Toronto, and then finished my degree at UToronto before I studied dentistry. I applied to seminary two more times, never was allow to go. What it was, was my parents are interested in the mundane matter like a good job and secure income, and a good life. Having Christ in your life is like an insurance, in case you have to use it, God will help you. The last time I had god in my life was during my formative year and getting married. Then I realize that god is their stomach, and whatever that they will get out of it. I through the help of Soren Kierkegaard, escaped this. My wife is normal and very joyful, and we have a beautiful family together.
What is god and where is God in all of this? I propose that the immaterial and even a sense of goodness in all of us, is God. In Germay, Got is good, and we pray to the goodness that is suppose to be above us and around us and sustains us. We are afraid to say that there is no such a concretized object as God, and there is nothing like that out there. He is not there nor to be found. But we are even more afraid to put our fate into the community we are in. We do not trust the human goodness. I have seen evil but I have seen human goodness in helping each other out. I then firmly place myself in the community here, and learn to see goodness and draw goodness out of people, and no longer fear that we step out of the will of God. We are, and as far as I know, we are. As for an evangelical god that is not there, those who trust it are delusional, and they rely on human goodness to get things done, human courts to get justice and human jails to put bad ones away, but they are afraid not to attribute all these beautiful human qualities to god, lest he is angry with them. That fear is now gone in my system, and I would like to point out that "Christianese" is delusional and gets one no where. So I no longer attend church or pray in a meaningful way. I talk to people, spend time in the garden, and learn when I am uncomfortable, to trust my heart and stay on the straight path. That is being human and learn to laugh at the face of the absurdities of life and to have courage to do what I am to do. This is why I left the WE KIDS group. They have trusted in a delusion and they will not lift a finger about them, so nothing gets done. They keep up praying and stay up and get upset at every turn, there is no courage. I prefer to pop the molesters, picket and make sure that justice is heard. They prefer to sit and pray and do nothing. This is a waste of time, it is absurd. How can one keep up this praying and hoping that god shows up when he is not there, so that is why they were horribly abused? But it has come, that we have to have courage to do the right thing, leave god behind, trust in the human goodness and the sense of justice, and when in doubt, definitely take matters into our own hands. When we are in truth, and if there is God, we are it. Or we are in it. or closest to it. Amen.