The Making of "Celebration of Life"

I presided over my dad's Celebration of life.  These words helped me to capture the spirit of his celebration.  The Chinese translation is done by Doris Tong, of Montreal.  I would to thank her for taking the time to help the entire process and make it signified in Chinese and for those who could not understand English.

The Making of “Celebration” 「生命讚美」的成形

Why 起因

When my father first was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer, my focus was on how to get him to see the right doctors and best treatment possible. When the final diagnosis was made, that he suffered a mass about 2.5 x 2.5 x 3.5 cm on the head of pancreas, I figured out his time was limited. I wanted to do something to remember him, so the first thought was I want to be the chief celebrant of his Celebration of Life. This was to differentiate this rite from traditional Taiwanese “Say Good Bye” service. The entire service was in my opinion very solemn, sad and morbid. It focuses on the past life of the dead and on the dead, and the entire service was sad, and people that went there were sad, and I think focuses on the part of the decease that was the saddest.

當我的爸爸被診斷出胰臟癌時, 我一心一意地要為他找到合適的醫生來給他做最好的治療. 診斷結果的報告出來, 大約有2.5x2.5x3.5公分大小的腫瘤長在胰臟頭部的地方. 我想他的時間大概也不多了. 我便思量著要為他做點甚麼來紀念他. 首先想到的是, 我要來擔任紀念他生命讚美儀式的主禮者. 為的是要有別於台灣傳統的「告別式」. 在我看來, 這種傳統的儀式是非常莊嚴,哀傷,對於死亡本身有一種病態的表達. 整個儀式的中心放在逝者本人和逝者過去的一生, 是哀傷的. 而參加儀式的親友也哀傷不已, 我想著重在逝者身上的這個部分是最令人感到哀傷的.

My experience of my sister Christine's passing was like that. The first time I saw my sister was the part that left me the worst impression. I went with my brother Andrew, and at the actual crematory where we were asked to 'identify' my sister before they prepared her for the service. Her body was just pulled from the cold storage, and she did not look like herself. She was still in the body bag, at this time, she was there for a whole month, dried up. I was just literally off the plane the night before, and this is not the best way to identify and see my deceased sister. The whole process does not take care of the surviving family, it focused on the professional, cold, impersonal procedure. “Identify this person, is this your sister,” and then they whisked her away. When I saw her again, she was drowned in a ton of flowers, and some light make up, but you can tell, this is a dead person, and it has no joy and the entire process was done in a way not to celebrate her life. Yes, this is my deceased sister, and her body was the last part of her journey. But this is not my sister anymore. She has moved on, and journeyed to another place. The following service was very sad, a lot of people came to say good bye, especially those young ladies who were from her church. There is a lot of sadness and the entire service was all about death, and you can feel it.

我所經歷過妹妹仁瑜的葬禮,就是如此. 印象中最糟糕的, 就是在第一次看到妹妹的時候. 我和哥哥仁傑一起到火葬場, 工作人員例行公事式的, 在為葬禮準備整理遺體之前, 叫我們去「確認」妹妹的遺體. 她的遺體剛從冰冷的冷凍櫃拉出來, 看起來一點也不像仁瑜. 她還裝在屍袋裡,到那時為止, 她在冰櫃裡已經整整一個月了. 身體早就乾癟了. 我在前一天晚上才下飛機, 這絕對不是去「確認」和看我那已經去世的妹妹最好的方式. 整過過程一點不顧及也不尊重逝者家屬的感受, 只為了完成商業化冰冷毫無人情味的程序. 「這是你們的妹妹嗎? 請確認一下.」 問完、確認後, 就把妹妹推走了. 當我再看到她的時候,她被埋在花海裡,雖然有淡淡的屍妝,卻很明顯地可以看出來這是一個死去的人, 儀式毫無喜樂,整個過程中並沒有對妹妹的生命有所紀念. 是的,那是我的妹妹,她的遺體是她這一生最後的一部分了. 從此以後, 她再也不是我的妹妹了, 她將會繼續她的旅程去到另一個地方. 接下來, 告別式是那麼的哀傷, 許多人來與妹妹告別,特別是那些她教會裡年輕的姊妹們. 有著許多的哀傷,儀式強調的是死亡, 讓你真的可以感受死亡的冰冷和悚然.

Is this the best way to commemorate a love one? Christians are supposed to believe in a life that is celebrated to be with God. Yet in a service like this, it is similar to what St Paul described as 'sadness as if they have no hope.' “Brothers, we do not want you to be uninformed about those who sleep in death, so that you will not grieve like the rest who are without hope.” I Thess 4:13. We grieved as if there is no hope. Of course, I no longer believe in the traditional teaching of the life everlasting, but it is a Christian belief that we ought not to grieve and deny our hope of life to be with God.

這是用來紀念已故親人最好的方式嗎? 基督徒本來就應該相信與神同在一處的生命是值得歡喜慶祝的. 像這樣的喪禮倒有點像是使徒保羅所說的「你們憂傷，像那些沒有指望的人一樣」 帖撒羅尼迦前書 4:13「論到睡了的人，我們不願意弟兄們不知道，恐怕你們憂傷，像那些沒有指望的人一樣」 我們憂傷好像那些沒有指望的人一樣. 當然,我不再相信有關永恆生命傳統式的教導, 而基督徒的信仰應該是不要憂傷,不要去否認我們對生命回歸神的盼望.

I want to design a service fit for the occasion for my dad's departure and also to commemorate his life and not focus on his illness or death. It should do justice to his journey in this world.

我要為父親設計一個能夠恰當地述說又紀念他生平的儀式, 不要著重在他的病情或死亡. 這樣才能夠公平地看待他的一生.

As Christians pay less and less attention on the eternal life of the decease, these services become more and more to commemorate the life of the person. This is the reason why we call this 'Celebration.' It is to remember the stories and the life events of my dad, so that people would walk away knowing that he has lived. The entire rite would focus on his life and not his death and certainly I would not focus on his eternal life with God. That part, is best left up to the person, and it does very little to comfort the living.

在基督徒越來越少提到有關逝者永生這一部分的同時,這些儀式就更成為紀念逝者一生的儀式了. 這就是為什麼我把它稱為「生命的頌讚」的原因. 目的就是要紀念我父親一生的故事和他生命中一些重要的事蹟.好讓來參加的親友們知道,我父親是踏踏實實地過一輩子的. 整個儀式會以他的生命為重心, 而不是他的死亡, 我更不會強調他在神那裏永生的部分. 那一部分,是已逝者的,而它對於活著的人是起不了甚麼安慰作用的.

So a new rite was born.

於是一個新的儀式就產生了!

Theme

主題

I started to prepare dad's Celebration almost when I knew his life was limited to 'weeks.' I started out as a fundamentalist, and as a fundie, I find the words of the Holy Scriptures comforting. “Consider the lilies...” This thought came to me and I looked this up, and gradually settled on the theme of the flowers of the field, using Isaiah 40:6-8 and the companion Mathews 6: 25-34. The New Testament teaching was focusing on the concept of 'flowers of the field' which when translated into Greek, it becomes our lilies of the field, and the key word 'glory' was implied in the raiment of King Solomon is all his glory.

我著手進行父親的「生命的頌讚」是在得知他的生命只剩下幾個禮拜的時間之後. 我是基要派的,身為基要主義者,我從聖經裡找到安慰的話語. 「想想那野地的花」 在我腦海中浮現了這段話,於是我查了一下這個經文,慢慢地,主題就敲定在「野地的花」.引用以賽亞書40:6-8,再加上馬太福音6:25-34做為輔助的經文. 新約聖經的教導是著重在「野地的花」的概念,用希臘文翻譯出來就是「我們野地的花」,而關鍵字「榮美」就是用所羅門王衣裳的榮美來做比較.

I spent a few weeks transcribed the Hebraic text from Isaiah 40:6-8, and then I also tried to translate it into Taiwanese, using Romaji. Understanding its structure, it allows me to find its poetic flow and thereby making my translation a better one. I also found out that the main teaching was “all flesh is grass and their 'hisath' (faithfulness, lovingkindness) is like the flowers of the field” in the original Hebrew. But New Testament text was 'glory' instead of 'hisath' and so in the Matthew's gospel, Jesus uses the word 'glory' instead of 'lovingkindness.' I followed the Septuagint text and in my final translation I used this ancient Christian text.

我花了幾週的時間去翻譯希伯來文的以賽亞書40:6-8,接下來再試著用羅馬字把它翻成台灣話.在理解它的結構之後,理出其中詩文修辭的條理,讓我的翻譯能夠更接近原文. 我又發現在希伯來原文裡, 它主要是在教導「世人皆如草,他們的信實仁慈如地裏的花」. 但在新約聖經裡是「榮美」而不是「信實慈愛」,馬太福音中耶穌也是用「榮美」而不是「信實慈愛」. 於是我按照七十士譯本的經文,在最後的翻譯採用了古代的基督教聖經.

The theme was not to worry about things that you cannot change and as flowers of the field, their glory outshines the raiment of the glory of King Solomon, and yet the grass in the field although they are here today, yet tomorrow are destroyed. God still dress them in their finest, and so do not worry about tomorrow, for it is enough to worry about something for a day, and tomorrow has new worries. “Sufficient is the day and the evil thereof.” So limit your worry to one day, and this is closest to what I would do in my circumstances. My dad will die and there is nothing we can do about it. It will also happen to all of us, and there is nothing we can do about it. What will happen, will happen. 儀式的主題定在別為了你無法改變的事憂慮,就像是那些勝過所羅門王衣裳榮美的野地的花,還有那些今天青翠無比而明天就枯萎的野草. 神仍然為它們穿上最美的衣裳. 所以莫要為了明天憂慮,一天的憂慮一天當就夠了,明天自有明天的憂慮. 「今日自有今日憂,明日且有明日愁」. 所以呢,把你的憂慮範圍縮小到今天吧,而這就是我在面對環境時所採取的態度. 我的父親終究會去世,我們無法為他做甚麼. 有一天,死亡也會臨到我們每一個人,同樣的,我們也不能做甚麼. 該來的,總是會來!

So the theme was born. It is about the glory of the flowers of the field and this is to commemorate the frailty and the beauty of life. 主題就這樣誕生了. 用野地的花來紀念生命的脆弱與短暫.

Structure結構

The first passage that I thought is most appropriate is Ecclesiastes 3. It talks about life and there is time for everything under the sun. We love and hate, we gather and we disband, we are born and then we die. All things are beautiful in its time. God made it so, so the teacher taught. The entire book tells you how frivolous what we do in life when we seek pleasure, and accumulate wealth. At the end, we all have to die. And all these frivolous things cannot extend our lives, and yet we must each live an honest good life. This passage was first chosen to be read in the Celebration to illustrate living. My dad loved money and properties, and none of these can go with him. But that is his life. At the end, I would like to be remember as someone who love living and lived and has a lot of fun in this life, even though we all know that 'vanity of vanity, all is vanity.' Knowing all these are vanity and empty and catching after the wind, and yet as humans, we must live this life for no one can do it for us. So, I chose this passage to be read in the first part of the service.

傳道書第三章是我首先想到的最恰當的經文. 它談論生命,又說到日光之下萬事皆有其時. 我們的愛與恨,取與捨,生與死. 萬物各按時機成長綻放美好. 神造它如此,而教師也是如此的教導. 整卷經文都在告訴你,我們為了追求享樂與財富所做的一切是多麼的虛空. 到頭來,我們都免不了一死. 這些虛浮的追求並不能使我們延年益壽. 即便如此,我們每個人都應該老老實實、好好地過日子. 這段經文是被選來在「生命的頌讚」儀式中誦讀用的. 我爸爸愛金錢與房產,而這些都不能跟著他一起去. 然而這就是他的一生. 最後,我想要大家記得的是他熱愛生命,實實在在的過日子,一生中也有許多歡樂的時光. 雖然我們都知道「虛空的虛空,凡事都是虛空」 知道凡事都是虛空,捕風, 既然是人,我們就得自己過自己該過的日子,因為沒有人可以替我們活. 因此,我選定這段經文,把它放在儀式中的第一個部分來唸.

Because of the circles of life is endless and it continues and is on going, I decided to have circles of circles of circles in this Celebration. It is what I see in life. The beginning is the end and the end is the beginning. This goes on and and on and on. And in this circle of life, we all live.

因為生命是一個沒有起點與終點的圓, 而且是永不停息的運轉著. 於是我便決定把生命無始無終的圓放在這次的頌讚儀式中. 這是我對生命的領會. 始即是終,終即是始. 永無止境. 而我們就活在這個生命的圓裡.

I found the music 'On the Nature of Daylight' by Max Richter beautiful. Perhaps, it is to show life and light in an unending circle, and I was touched when I heard it in the movie “Arrival.” After listening to other music, I found the slow and repeating nature of this music very beautiful; reflective and somewhat sad. But it is respectful and it comes to a climax and then slowly fades into the back ground. It has in itself, helped to do what I cannot do, so I placed it both in the Prelude and the Postlude. A very kind person whom I have never met on the Youtube sent me his transcription and music sheet, saying he played it at his grandmother's service. So I showed them to my kids and none of them want to touch it, and my cousin Pei said it was too complicated. So my last resort is to use a recording and play that at the Celebration.

我發現Max Richter所做的'On the Nature of Daylight'的曲子很優美. 或許,它要呈現生命與光是一個永無止境的圓,在聽到電影「Arrival (異星入境—中譯)」播放這曲子時,我很感動. 之後,我又聽了其他的音樂,發現這緩慢又反覆的曲風非常優美,很有意境而且有點傷感. 但它是肅穆的,在達到高潮之後又慢慢地褪到背景中. 這個音樂本身做到了我所無法做到的,因此,我就把它當作前奏和後奏來用. 一位我在Youtube結識卻素未謀面的好心人,把他轉抄的稿子和樂譜寄來給我,告訴我,他在他祖母的儀式中就是彈奏此曲. 於是我把樂譜給我的孩子們看,卻沒有人要去碰它, 而我的表姊佩香也說它太複雜了. 所以,最後的辦法就是把它錄起來,在頌讚儀式中播放.

To show that the perfect circle of life, both Prelude and Postlude is the same. After I thought of playing it at the Celebration, I found also it is better to show some slides of flowers. By now, I have designed the book cover, using stars of Bethlehem as the cover, and nectarine blossoms as the back. An online website, Canva.com is exceptionally easy to use and the result is great. I then decide to put about 60-70 slides of various of flowers I have taken between 2014-2015. Most of the flowers of the field around the spring were crocuses. So the book cover and the slide show was born.

為了要呈現生命這個完美的圓,前奏與後奏用的是同一首曲子. 想要在頌讚儀式中播放這曲子的同時,我發現播放一些花的投影片會更好. 目前,我已經設計好封面,把伯利恆的星星放在封面,水蜜桃花做封底. Canva.com這個網站特別好用而效果也不錯. 接著,我決定要從我在2014-2015年拍的花卉照片中挑個60-70張來做投影片. 春季的花大多是番紅花. 於是,書的封面和投影秀就此誕生.

I place the Lord's prayer at first and the Jewish Q'adish (mourner's prayer) at the end, two scriptures read, Isaiah 40:6-8 and Ecclesiastes 3, and three Christian hymns in the first part of the Celebration (my dad's favorite hymn, two cousin's hymns) and corresponding to Ave Maria with two Taiwanese folk songs. In the center of the rite was 'A Look Back' (video of his life, 8 minutes) and the sermon “A Few Words” (8 minutes with simultaneous translation). It is about circles of circles of circles. This is what life is. 我把主的祈禱文排在最前面,猶太人的Q'adish(哀禱文)則放在最後面. 兩個讀經,以賽亞書40:6-8;和傳道書 3. 還有3首基督教詩歌(我爸爸愛聽的詩歌, 2首表兄弟姊妹獻的詩歌)在頌讚儀式的前半段, 用2首台灣歌搭配Ave Maria. 儀式中穿插了「回顧」(他的一生, 8分鐘長的影片), “A Few Words”講道 (同步翻譯, 8分鐘長). 這是關於無止境的圓. 也就是生命.

So this is how I design the Rite of Celebration.

這也就是我設計頌讚儀式的由來.

The making of the Rite of Committal is slightly different from the Celebration.

委託式的製作則與頌讚儀式稍有不同.